That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
