I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
