I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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