all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
