so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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