im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
