ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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