You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize