i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
