Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
