that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
