went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
