When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
