Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
