Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
