I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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