did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think i got beer on your cat.
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