I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
