two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize