First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize