I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
