We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
