She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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