So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
