you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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