I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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