Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
