What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
