Whod you bang
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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