You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
