My balls are so social today.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
