Plan B is the new Plan A
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
