if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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