worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
