:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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