If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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