why didn't you poke me back
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
