Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
