do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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