Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sex in a hospital.. check
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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