She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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