Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What drink are we having for lunch?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
