We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
