I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
