in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
