I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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