i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
