haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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