Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
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Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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