Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
