i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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