i was born a porn star she said
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
