Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
handjob tips. give me some.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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