You really coming over, don't trick.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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