If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
