someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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