I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.