so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.