I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
