Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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