Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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