But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
