Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She needs sedatives and a leash
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
